1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .
3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to
the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'
14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
18. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
21. A backward poet writes inverse.
22. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
24. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!
11 comments:
LOL Oh thanks for the chuckles, I paticularly liked #3 it tickled me!
That's cute as heck honey. Thanks for the chuckles.
Have a terrific day. Big hug. :)
Well, you have me giggling, even though some of those are TERRIBLE! :P
Language provides a never ending source of fun. We like to twist it and look at it from left field. I think it's like math, can be reduced or compounded.
It's amazing how you can use your words. These were all great. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for the smile. I liked #5.
Oh these are ALL super. I love 'em. Actually as I was reading the list, I was saying to myself...."Self? This one hasta be my favorite."....but then, the more I read I just couldn't pick only one out of the lot.
Super!!!!
I really enjoyed this!!!
to quote Tammy "Hehehe!"!!
He he he he. I had to read some of them twice to get it. But I got it :o)
Have a wonderful weekend, Storyteller!
I absolutely love stuff like this - still laughing even though I'd heard several of them before but they sure never get un-funny! :)
I laughed in spite of myself, storyteller!
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