Witty Wednesday #9

Make Time for Small Reflections

"Laughter is an instant vacation." Milton Berle

According to recent studies, we need 12 laughs a day just to stay healthy. Therefore, before I share a few stories here, I offer all who pass this way the gift of a link from Simple Truths ... to brighten YOUR day. Perhaps like me you'll watch it more than once ... and perhaps choose to pass it along to others like I did.

Click if you missed my Monday Musings & wonder what I've been up to.
Sandee at Comedy Plus shares humor often ... and one of my recent favorites is Your Yearly Dementia Test.

My 9th Witty Wednesday

A Pot-Pourri of Stories:

Courtesy of Comedy Central's Jokes.com Newsletter ...

Duck Tales
A duck walks into a bar and asks the bar tender, "Got any 'gwapes'?", and the bartender replies, "No, sorry I don't sell grapes here." So the duck leaves and goes home to rest and the next day he walks into the same bar and asks the bar tender, "Got any gwapes?" The bartender replies, "No, sorry I don't sell grape here." The duck leaves and goes home to rest and the next day, he goes back to the bar and asks the bartender, "Got any gwapes?" The bartender angrily replies, "I don't want to have to tell you again, I don't sell grapes here and if you ask me again I will nail your beek to the counter of the bar!" The duck leaves and goes home to rest. The next day the duck goes to the bar and asks, "Got any nails?" The bartender looks at him and screams, "No, we don't have any nails!" The duck then asks, "Got any gwapes?"

First Time Golfer
A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers. Thinking he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game.

The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said, "Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green."

The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down the fairway and onto the green, where it stopped inches from the hole.

"Now what?" the fellow asked the speechless pro.

"Uh... you're supposed to hit the ball into the cup," the pro finally said, after he was able to speak again.

"Oh great! NOW you tell me." said the beginner.

Lucky Driver
A police officer pulls over a driver and informs him that he has just won $5,000 in a safety competition, all because he is wearing his seat belt.

"What are you going to do with the prize money?" the officer asks.

The man responds, "I guess I'll go to driving school and get my license."

His wife says, "Officer, don't listen to him. He's a smart aleck when he's drunk."

The guy in the back seat pops up out from under the blanket and says, "I knew we wouldn't get far in this stolen car."

Just then a knock comes from the trunk and a voice calls out, "Are we over the border yet?"

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where I've enjoyed Witty Wednesday for a while now.

Small Reflections ... Smile Back

A few ... Thoughts for Today
"The most wasted of all days is one without laughter."
e.e. cummings