Sandee at Comedy Plus shares humor often ... and one of my recent favorites is Your Yearly Dementia Test.
Duck Tales
A duck walks into a bar and asks the bar tender, "Got any 'gwapes'?", and the bartender replies, "No, sorry I don't sell grapes here." So the duck leaves and goes home to rest and the next day he walks into the same bar and asks the bar tender, "Got any gwapes?" The bartender replies, "No, sorry I don't sell grape here." The duck leaves and goes home to rest and the next day, he goes back to the bar and asks the bartender, "Got any gwapes?" The bartender angrily replies, "I don't want to have to tell you again, I don't sell grapes here and if you ask me again I will nail your beek to the counter of the bar!" The duck leaves and goes home to rest. The next day the duck goes to the bar and asks, "Got any nails?" The bartender looks at him and screams, "No, we don't have any nails!" The duck then asks, "Got any gwapes?"
First Time Golfer
A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers. Thinking he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game.
The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said, "Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green."
The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down the fairway and onto the green, where it stopped inches from the hole.
"Now what?" the fellow asked the speechless pro.
"Uh... you're supposed to hit the ball into the cup," the pro finally said, after he was able to speak again.
"Oh great! NOW you tell me." said the beginner.
Lucky DriverA police officer pulls over a driver and informs him that he has just won $5,000 in a safety competition, all because he is wearing his seat belt.
"What are you going to do with the prize money?" the officer asks.
The man responds, "I guess I'll go to driving school and get my license."
His wife says, "Officer, don't listen to him. He's a smart aleck when he's drunk."
The guy in the back seat pops up out from under the blanket and says, "I knew we wouldn't get far in this stolen car."
Just then a knock comes from the trunk and a voice calls out, "Are we over the border yet?"
"The most wasted of all days is one without laughter."
e.e. cummings
12 comments:
I thought you had quit blogging. Glad you didn't.
The puppy is right on the money.
I love all the jokes, but especially the last two. Thanks for the laughs.
Have a terrific day. Big hug. :)
I love the duck joke. It's one of the few I actually remembered after hearing it the first time.
Great posting,thanks for the laughs!
I love the golf one...especially since I just bought nice, new clubs so I can try to learn.
Thanks for the chuckles.
What a great post, thanks for putting a smile on my face.
Oh no - that last one still has me giggling. :)
You've put a smile on my face--I'm reading this Thursday morning, but even so, great way to start the day!
Those were cute! Thanks for the laughs!
I have been glimpsing over your blog but this is the 1st time I have had a few mins to stop and say hello!
Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo!
The duck mommy and her ducklings are just sooooooooooooo beautiful. Priceless!
Thanks for visiting and leaving a very beautiful comments. You are so warm person and very sweet. You have touch my heart by just writing simple words.
I am following you now.
Hugs,
Tess
I loved the dog!
Thank you very much for the visited you did at my blog.
I'm really happy!
Love,
Ana
Bwahahahahahaha! Storyteller, great jokes and I love that photo of the adorable dog! :)
LOL! I love the happy face. ;-)
Paz
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